CHAPTER TWELVE
Christmas was coming, and I started shopping for Sabrina and Frank. I went to a friend who had a furniture store and bought Sabrina a home entertainment center which did everything but clean itself. I signed my name to over a thousand dollars debt, which would be mostly traded for advertising.
I got a watch, a few tools, clothing, and aftershave lotion for Frank. The shopping downtown left me completely drained.
I was losing so much weight; Frank remarked I looked like someone from a concentration camp. He was right! Every time I looked in the mirror, I counted my bones, and watched the blooming rose, my eyeball. I felt sorry for myself.
The house was going to pot. Everything needed to be done.
Tess, the Russian girl answered my Christmas card with a long letter she wrote on December 9th.
Hello Tina,
It was nice to hear from you. Glad to hear you're going to get your eyeball fixed. You and I sure make a good pair.
Two lefties.
My return trip to Big Willy, Wilford Hall, was a mess!
Dr. Kletch, from my base at Scott, called Dr. Black while I was in his office, to tell him I'll be there in a day or two.
Dr. Black said fine, we'll be expecting her. Bullshit! That was Tuesday. I was in Texas Wednesday afternoon, and I didn't see a doctor until Friday. Dr. Dushon said Dr. Black was going on leave next week. I almost had a cow!
My prostheses was too green, not enough brown. You know they promised me surgery on my nose when I got back.
They told me no surgery on my nose.
Sorry, they said. You'll have to come back in January or February.
I got mad! Dr. Dushon tried to pacify me. He asked me if I'd go to a psychiatrist, because he didn't think I was emotionally ready for surgery. You know how they are, they don't want to fool with you, and so they send you to the shrink.
The shrink, Dr. Letis, was great. He said I was normal. I stopped at Ophthalmology to see if the old general was still alive. I couldn't find him. Capitan Mesurush handled my case. Things started to move. The EENT doctor examined me and said I needed surgery to remove the hump on the top part of my nose, because it interfered with the sight of the left eye when I looked to the right. I also had an obstruction which needed removal.
You and I know all I wanted was a nose job. Its diagnosis changed it from cosmetic surgery to necessary surgery.
I finally had my surgery on the 10th of November. I came home the day before Thanksgiving. The truth was somebody in Ophthalmology goofed and didn't make an appointment for me.
I'm coming along fine, finally! More brown was added to my socket, which was too small and had to be built up. I'm supposed to return to Big Willy in May for a six month check-up. Dr. Dushon and Dr. Black will be leaving in June. Dr. Black was so sweet to me when he came back from his leave. I guess they figured I'll be gone, but it backfired!
I'll be getting glasses for Christmas. I can't wear any now. My nose is still too tender, and they leave an impression on it.
Looks like we both had a hell of a time. My kids were happy to see me. The maid was back. HA! HA! So was my husband, something else was back for him besides the maid.
No, I'm not ready for Christmas. We're broke. After adding on a bedroom, bathroom and utility room, our cash is gone. It's going to be a skimpy holiday. Bah humbug!
How are you adjusting? How many doors and people have you walked into? I had my share. Believe you me! Are you driving yet? May be we'll have a reunion.
After the holidays, when things settle down, I'm going to a handicap program for blind training. I may go to college and pick up nursing, so I can give the ophthalmologists a shot in the ass!
I'm sorry to hear you had a bad time. While I was in Texas I asked some of the nurses about you. They said you went home without surgery. How long were you there?
Someday I'll visit you, Tina, May be we can run away together. I don't see why not. Kids do it. Let's be the runaway parents and make the headlines.
How are your husband and darling daughter? Bet they're glad you're home too. I haven't heard from Emma, but plan to drop her Christmas card. So good to hear from you, Tina. Answer if you get a chance. Hope you can read my writing.
Sincerely,
Tess
I read her letter ten times, laughing at it every time. I was definitely not the only one given the run-around. I showed the letter to Dr. Asin, to prove what strong belief in psychiatry the staff at Wilford Hall had. Everybody saw the shrink, but nobody had regular sessions.
Things were dragging and I was going down to nothing. I got a letter from the workman's compensation insurance company telling me my check would be terminated. The future looked dark and stormy.
I had charged over a thousand dollars on a stereo. Even though the advertising contract was going to cover two thirds of it, contracts can be broken, but debts can't.
My private doctors threatened to sue me. I sent all my bills to the lawyer. He was collecting depositions, trying to find a more positive diagnosis of my problem.
"If we go to court now, we'll lose, for sure," he told me. "All I got is a hysterical female with many nervous problems. People aren't willing to pay for hysteria, which is something we all have to different extents. Nobody comments on your physical health, without adding the word hysteria."
It was all in my head. The doctors talked like I was crazy.
I saw all our sacrifices flushed down the drain. I felt they were killing me slowly, and there wasn't a thing I could do to stop it . . I thought about getting a gun, shooting a couple of doctors, and shooting myself. My soul would have company, whenever it went. I hated to travel alone! All these worries worsened my condition.
I was alternating Demerol and Talwin every four hours. I didn't have any energy.
Horace came to my rescue. He was managing the radio station in an adjacent town that catered to the Negro audience.
"Hello, Horace, How are you doing?"
"If it was any better, I couldn't stand it."
"You are lying and you know it. Horace, I've got a growing problem, and I'm not pregnant, either! They are cutting off my workman's compensation, and I need to make at least three hundred dollars a month to keep rolling."
"Well, let me see what I can do."
"All right, but don't forget, if you get me a part-time job, you'll have to pick me up and drive me home. You know I can't drive a car as doped as I am."
"Don't worry, that won't be any problem. I'll call you in a couple of days, okay?"
"Okay, good-bye."
I was in and out of the hospital so much; Frank was forced to retire from his federal job to tend Sabrina, and the house.
A couple days later, Horace called me with good news. "Tina, I've got you a part-time job as receptionist, and can do some selling on the phone. Remember, Negros communicate differently than we do, so you can't cut your spots, but you can be creative in writing them.
"Okay, thanks, I'll settle for that."